Two volumes: one ending at M, the second starting at N. The publishers debated over weeks whether to end the first volume at N but a rather course woman held a prejudice for the letter O. She stated, "That damned letter [O] should be oblierated from the alphabet. Starting a second volume with that cursed letter is worse than pasting halibut scales on my naked body."

Later, that night, she sat at the dinner table in silence while her husband scanned her up and down, wondering what had become of her. Everything folding beneath her. No wonder his sexual appetite had passed, well, many years ago. He'd lay beside her stiff as a board, in fear that she'd touch him once again. On this particular night, she wore her black negligee, which enhanced her puffiness. Upon the mattress she sat, reading her paperback while her right breast worked its way out for some air. Her husband lost focus on the television, featuring a young couple about to embark on deep-sea diving adventure.

"Your tit, honey."
"Not again." She fixed it. "It's like it has a mind of its own."
"Mmhm..."
"Dear, I thought of something at work, that at first disgusted me but I must say, in retrospect, turns me on."
"What?"
"Tell me how your opinion of halibut."
"As a creature or a cuisine?"
"Either."
"Can't say much about the halibut. Never seen the creature swim about. As a cuisine, rather bland. I prefer salmon."
"If I were to buy halibut..."
"I'd eat it, I guess."
"No, dear, hear me out. I want to buy a ton of halibut, descale it and then have you glue the scales to my naked body."
"I'm not sure...," eyes rolling around the head. Thoughts of getting in the car, renting a hotel room. Had his wife gone insane? "Honey, are you speaking about...well, your halloween costume?"
"No," laughter weaking her. She gasped for air but only found my laughter. It had been years since she laughed in his presence. "Fuck those kids. I want you to paste those halibut scales on my naked body with honey...and then call me Candy."
"What for?"
"Just for kicks."
"Is this an office dare?"
"Please, I am serious..."

On halloween night, as her husband pasted halibut scales upon her naked body using an entire 8 ounce jar of honey, thirty-three kids rang their doorbell. Six of them returned the following day, smashing a hole through their bedroom window. The couple, in the midst of a love-making session, barely paid attention to the broken glass.